unknown journey of my life.

here I am. Again in the same dilemma. Don’t know what m trying to do or achieve. I have got nothing to loose so I feel the fear of being fearless. I can feel the feeling of being left alone. I have already paid alot for my mistakes but still m repeating the same mistakes again. My friends have lost all hopes. And why not.. They put all possible efforts to help me come out of all this but its like I don’t want to. But I want to tell them that even I tried hard to come out of all this. I really did. But I lost again. I am again in the same place I started from. Its so annoying and so much irritating but who will understand? Hah.. People feel that I like living like this. No guys no. I too want to live. I too want to enjoy my life, my salary. I too want to live my dreams but!. But what dreams.. All are attached to my past. Every part of my life was attached to my past. Every thing. All of it. anyways… M not gonna quit like this. I will start again. And this time i’ll try even harder. I’ll start again. I find myself soo lonely. I feel I have lost the last few friends of mine. They too have stopped understanding me. And how long will they? Afterall they have got there ow life to care for. Why would anyone waste his life on me when he can clearly see that his efforts are going useless. So, now its just me… All alone. And I am the only one who is responsible for this situation. No one else but me. I lie every time when I talk to my parents and my family. I don’t want them to know about what I am going through. I want them to be happy no matter what happens to me. But how long would I be able to lie and hide? Some day some how they’ll come to know about me as things are going much more worst everyday. some people advice me to put a fake smile on my face and pretend that I am living my life on full throttle. But for whom? For peoples who don’t fukin care? Is living like this is worth living? Who the hell are those peoples to justify me and my actions when they have never gone through what I am going through now!


About BlueHarry

going through the hardest part of life. lost in time.
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