living lifeless life

sometimes I feel like am not living my life. I feel like I have lost me way back in time. I still miss the real me. When I used to smile, I used to cry I used to feel the emotions of situations. When my face was of flexible skin and muscles and there was movement in my face muscles. Not its made of stone with no expression and movement. I still wonder when it all got changed? When I died and when I started living a life of a living dead? I was quite famous among my friends. I was a respectable personality. People used to listen to me seriously and used to follow me, value my thoughts but now every thing vanished. People don’t care bout me anymore… when I look back in past I still wonder what I did wrong? What changed everything? How it all got slipped out of my hands?. And now I find myself in a blender of questions with no one to answer. I am deadly lost and dead. I am trying everyday to live again and find out the answers but all my efforts are not enough and all my prayers seems to be useless. I am living like a pendulum hanging between my past and future. And where my present gone I have no clue. I don’t know how long am gonna survive living like this but ya I can say that i’ll never stop trying after all I am a human and I’ll never loose hope. what’s the use of living a life like this?. A life without passion, without a motive and without emotions. I find myself with no reason to wake up in the morning or do anything people usually in their lives. I don’t want to earn money or fame or infect I don’t want to earn anything. I have no greed or need left in me. I have no dreams to follow no target to achieve. I have no idea where life is take me or I am going. I have left myself free. Wherever the tide will take me i’ll go. I have left my self free and stopped fighting against life and destiny. Surrendered in front of time hoping that someday i’ll get the answers and will live again. But ya this time without any expectation from anyone and anything.

 

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About BlueHarry

going through the hardest part of life. lost in time.
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