end of illusion ….

It’s being so long that I haven’t wrote anything. Allmost 5-6 weeks. I don’t have any idea what I was doing all this time. I was just running away. No idea from what? Or from where? Or why? But I was just running away. Now….. Now what? I guess I am fed up of all these running. I want to slow down now. Want to stay still so that I can regain the strength and energy, energy to stand tall and face my bloody fate, energy to fight back. I now realise that no one can run away from there own fate. I am totally clueless about what’s coming next, but ya whatever it is I am gonna face it. I won’t run this time. I will fight back. No matter how hard it’s gonna be but i’ll fight back. I have no dreams left, no hopes, no motive or goal but still i’ll fight. I am fed up of all these. Life is becoming so much painful & frustrating day by day. How far can one go carrying his own deadbody?.. At last one as to stop and face the truth. Truth of his life. That he can’t live like dead whole life. I’ll have to live. I cannot just keep running like this whole life isn’t it. But if I want to live i’ll have to accept the truth. So here I am….. Trying to live again… No matter what happens but i’ll live. I will survive. I know I am left with nothing. But that means i have got nothing to loose now. So I can now fight fearlessly. I don’t want to be a subject of gossip anymore. I have seen people talking about my life. About what I did right or what I did wrong. I don’t bloody care about there opinion about my life. I just would like to tell them that its very easy to comment on someone’s life or make fun of one’s emotions wen you don’t even know what that person is going through, that what he feels and how he is still alive. I would like to tell them that if they are really this much concerned about my life than come and live my life for just one day and than express your views about me and my life.  I would like to ask them to wear my shoes and walk a mile. Then they’ll come to know how easy it is to evaluate and talk about ones life and how hard it is to live his life. Then they’ll realise how I am still alive and standing tall facing the same life everyday, every second. Hah…. But I don’t want to get involved in all this bullshit arguments as they mean nothing to me. They are just a peace of waste who have got nothing to do but talk about others. I know its a bit of hard time for me and I’ll come over it soon. I don’t know if i’ll be happy again or not but who wants to be happy????? I just want to live and show some bloody rascals there actual status.. I just quit for some time.. I didn’t loose. And now I am coming back.  


About BlueHarry

going through the hardest part of life. lost in time.
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