I know I made mistakes. Some big mistakes and thats what I am paying for now. I know I am responsible for my situation. I accept all my mistakes. I dont know how am gonna survive in this guilt and sorrow and how long am gonna go. I have no clue about what life I am living right now and what m gonna live tomorrow. I am just being flown by the winds. I am so much confused or I guess I am not confused but I am not thinking about anything at all. I find myself weak. So weak to take decisions of my own life. And I am not sure about the reason behind this weakness… Am I weak because of that incidence? Am I weak because I drink till I get washed out? Am I weak as I dont care about me and my life?. I find myself so selfish. Selfish is the only word I hated always. And now its so frequent that I find myself so much selfish. I live in a life with no reality. And like that… Being drunk is all I care about. And than the ‘nasha’ keeps me in my illusanary life. And when I come out I feel tthe real world so much lost. As I am not a part of this world. As if I don’t belong to this world. This world where my parents live. Where my friends and relative are. I find this world so annoying. So much unknown. As I never knew this world. I seek for drinks so that I can go back to my world. The world where I am free to do any thing. In this world I find myself so much bound.. I feel like I am in a cell. But that world is totally different. There I am free to do anything. I am free to say anything and blame anyone. I like living that life but I am paying alot for that life. Not in terms of money but everything else. Everything else. My friends.. My parents… My respact… Life… Everything.


About BlueHarry

going through the hardest part of life. lost in time.
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